An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder, by K. Valentin, is set to release on October 14, 2025.
Many thanks to BookSparks for providing an early copy for review!
Dark humor meets complex queer feelings in An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder, K. Valentin’s laugh-out-loud urban fantasy debut that pairs a sassy, smartass witch and a protective badass of an astral projector with a nervous, flighty, and delightfully endearing ethereal boy that has been cursed in a comedy of horrors that explores demons, possession, and blood magic.
Mateo “Teo” Borrero is a twenty-three year-old nightmare. Working a dead-end job at a print shop to pay the bills after his blood-magic wielding, bruja mother disappeared five years previously, the queer, goth disaster is just trying to make it through another dreadfully boring shift when a new, and alarmingly aloof, co-worker shows up for his first-shift, bright-eyed and completely clueless. The disaster waiting to happen can’t even turn a printer on, the slow, painful burn of the shift evolving into a full-blown headache – the first in Mateo’s life – that quickly dissolves into an unexpected paranormal mystery when a woman attempts to stab him, catapulting the duo into a murder mystery gone wrong thanks to the curse clinging to the gloomy and ethereal new arrival, Christopher “Topher” Nystrom Jr.
Looking to uncover the cause of the mysterious freak accidents and death that seem to follow in his wake, the endearing and eternally nervous Topher has sought out Mateo’s services as an occult specialist, a side-gig born of his fledgling talent for magic with his fiercely protective and fiery best friend, Ophelia “Phee” De La Garza, an astral projector and the only real family Mateo has ever known. After all, how difficult can curse breaking really be if it means rich nepo-baby money in their pockets?
What starts off as a seemingly simple cash grab turns into an unexpected journey full of magic, murder, and missed opportunities, wherein the unexpected trio find solace in each other, despite the increasingly high stakes thrown their way. Unexplained death turns into a full-blown murder mystery following a tarot pull that binds them together, freak highway accidents, blood wards and sketchy family circumstances, two missing mothers, and an increasingly cannibalistic demon projecting its desire for flesh and freedom onto Mateo, manifesting first in dreams, then in waking nightmares as the mystery surrounding Topher’s true identity and his mother’s sudden disappearance come to light.
High stakes and horrors go hand in hand as the trio unite to solve the magical mystery, with each step in the plan adding a layer of complexity not just to the overarching murder plot, but to their relationship as well, with every freak accident or attempt on their life bringing them closer together. Add in a healthy dose of guilt and self-loathing mixed with sweet, nervous energy juxtaposed against black, viscous blood, claws for hands, and a penchant for fashion statements, and the end result is an emotional, slow burn, will-they-won’t they romance.
Tack on a fierce, fiery projector with no sense of self-preservation and a badass attitude, and you’ve got a platonic found family connected by fate and circumstance – in the absolute best way. Topher’s nervous energy and gentle compassion in all things contrasts sharply with Mateo and Ophelia’s rough, sarcasm-honed edges, resulting in an absolutely delightful exploration of found family and belonging peppered with enchanting moments of slice-of-life wholesomeness. Whether it be in Topher forgetting to remove his underwear before bathing in a cleansing ritual, an increasingly passionate kiss interrupted by your maybe boyfriend’s mom, or crying into your best friend’s lap, the end result is a charming mashup of slice-of-life paranormal fantasy meets found family romp, threaded together by witchy circumstances, curses, and eldritch body horror.
Three of swords, the devil, and death…
Whatever’s happening, it’s happening to all three of them. Together.– excerpt from An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder by K. Valentin
What starts as a cursory glimpse into the occult turns into a curse-breaking deep dive full of gruesome twists and turns. Oozing black blood, broken bones and unexplained mending, tripped blood magic wards, and ritualistic sacrifice all meld together into a nightmarish murder mystery with Mateo front and center as the demon possessing his body vies for control in the worst way imaginable – by taking over his mind from the inside out – resulting in an eerie, atmospheric and haunting tale of epic proportions, saturated by self-loathing and loneliness. Through it all, the idea of deep-rooted platonic bonds and inseparable found family promotes self-love and acceptance in a world dominated by magic lurking behind closed, cursed doors. Blood, money, power – all vie for attention in a murder mystery gone awry that unearths otherworldly family connections and deep rooted, transformative magic, with Mateo and Topher bearing fascinating secrets of their own.
Valentin pairs sarcastic, sassy quips with smartass remarks, pairing a light-hearted, wry tone with unsettling, eerie, and deeply atmospheric horror. This genre-blending mashup is fun, quirky and exceptionally easy to read, evoking emotion and setting a captivating scene that builds on ancient, eldritch magic, occult staples, and nightmares in an evocative and haunting manner. Mateo’s plight – and the slow transformation of his body from human to demon – is a visceral, out of body experience drenched in black ichor, feral fury, and vicious passion that blends rich world-building with creepy imagery, resulting in surreal dreams and an overwhelming sense of self-loathing and foreboding that carries the novel into its unexpected climax and beyond.
Through it all, a slow-burn romance unfolds that is fresh, exciting, and overstimulating for both parties, touched with a bit of magic and body horror all its own, with the end result being an exceptionally sweet, open-ended romance between two broken boys searching for themselves. What starts out as strangers that border on enemies due to their differences turns into a sweet, sensual relationship.
Topher’s still just, like, right there, staring at Mateo, except Mateo’s not great at this sort of thing – thing being feelings, affection, or physical anything. He avoids these things when at all possible, and he’s got no idea how he walked right into this.
It’s so quiet he can hear outer space.
Someone should say something.
Probably him. The kiss was Topher saying something.– excerpt from An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder by K. Valentin
One thing that particularly stood out here, was the idea of Mateo potentially falling somewhere on the asexual spectrum, more prone to pay attention to aesthetic attraction rather than sexual attraction, highlighted in his impeccable sense of fashion and the lavish attention to detail given not just to Topher’s clothing and style, but every character Mateo interacts with. Add on accidental cannibalism, ritual sacrifice, bloody kisses with too much teeth, and multiple climactic fight scenes, and you’ve got an intense, action-packed romp entrenched in magic and cosmic body horror.
Whether it’s setting a sarcastic, witty tone with exceptional banter and commentary or creating atmospheric nightmare fuel, Valentin writes with purpose, penning a story that is queer horror meets slice of life fantasy in the best way. Imaginative, bold, and written with a uniquely light-hearted charm, An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder is perfect for fans of Tamsyn Muir looking for a fun, quirky romp steeped in paranormal delight and horror. Atmospheric and inventive, yet sarcastic and light-hearted, K. Valentin’s debut is a fresh take on wholesome fantasy, complete with slow burn pining, platonic love between friends, found family, and undeniable and chaotic charm.
Enchanted isn’t the right word because it implies something delicate, whimsical and positive, not the feral nonsense feud that followed – but he’s never come up with a better one.
– excerpt from An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder by K. Valentin
Full of quips, unending sass, and queer co-dependent disasters, Valentin’s debut has big Gideon the Ninth energy – if Gideon was a fashion-obsessed, oblivious, brooding icon – and is written in a captivating, easy-to-digest style dripping in sarcasm, self-loathing, and moral ambiguity and brimming with delightful banter, sweet slice of life moments, and pure, dramatic chaos.
It wasn’t his first time seeing death, but it hits differently when you love that person more than you love anyone who’s ever existed.
– excerpt from An Amateur Witch’s Guide to Murder by K. Valentin
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